Monday, July 10, 2006

sometimes it's okay to be selfish

I learnt an interesting lesson this week. My fiancé - Dean - has been gone for 10 days now and he does not return for another 10 days. I tend to be an otherish sort of person when it comes to praying. I pray for my friends, family, strangers..whomever is on my heart. It’s no surprise, then, that Dean's absence has kept him on the forefront of my mind. I have been praying for him constantly and am continually wondering how he is.

I sat down to write this late Sunday evening. It was getting late so I saved it. I had hoped to return to it on Monday but my mom had to be rushed to emergency and so most of my evening was spent praying and concerning myself with her. (She will be alright by the way.) Since then I have developed a viral infection in my throat and today I received 3 stitches in my left forearm. Which was a painful reminder that box cutters are sharper than you might think. Unless you already thought they were...sharp, that is...then it should be sharper than I might think. Which really is most likely the case...I mean, who doesn't know a box cutter is sharp....?

Oh yeah, I've had mix-ups with the bridesmaids' dresses, concerns of the church canceling, delays on the invitations. And all the while I keep asking God, why? why is this all happening now? and why can't Dean be here for me to talk to? if only Dean were here. And do you know what God said to me? God said, "Because apparently I needed to remind you that I am here. You seem to have forgotten."

Have you ever noticed that? How often do you sit and pray that God will be with you throughout your day? That He will carve your path and protect you as you walk it? God reminded me that it's okay for us to pray for ourselves. I don't, generally, because I start to feel selfish. Perhaps it is different for you. Perhaps you read this and are astonished that I would point out something so basic. Doesn't she know that by now? And perhaps you're right, perhaps I should.

Well what an important lesson for me to relearn, then: God cares. Talk to Him about it.

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3 comments:

Steve said...

It's good to come to God with everything...

I've heard it said, "I'd rather ask God too much than too little."
Another thing to not though would be if you are scared of your prayers being selfish, it's probably a good indication that it's not, or atleast it's not too selfish because you are concerned. It's kind of like the idea behind abusing grace... if you are constantly concerned about it, you probably aren't abusing it.
There' still a chance that you are, but I think the odds go down.

e.d. said...

What is it do you suppose that Paul meant when he instructed the Philippian church to 'humbly consider others better then yourselves' and to 'do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit'?

How do we balance the statement of 'each of us should not only look to our own interests but also to the interests of others?'

Are there clear lines here or do they work out differently for different people and situations?

Kat Campbell said...

Jesus answered your question himself. When asked "how do we pray", he answered with the Lord's Prayer. You know the beginning, remember the last part: ...give us this day our daily bread and forgive us... as we forgive others.
A balance, between asking for ourselves and asking for others. I agree with Steve, it's best to come to God with everything, the good, the bad and the ugly. You hang in there with the wedding and don't stress, nobody remembers the events that go perfectly!