I learnt an interesting lesson this week. My fiancé - Dean - has been gone for 10 days now and he does not return for another 10 days. I tend to be an otherish sort of person when it comes to praying. I pray for my friends, family, strangers..whomever is on my heart. It’s no surprise, then, that Dean's absence has kept him on the forefront of my mind. I have been praying for him constantly and am continually wondering how he is.
I sat down to write this late Sunday evening. It was getting late so I saved it. I had hoped to return to it on Monday but my mom had to be rushed to emergency and so most of my evening was spent praying and concerning myself with her. (She will be alright by the way.) Since then I have developed a viral infection in my throat and today I received 3 stitches in my left forearm. Which was a painful reminder that box cutters are sharper than you might think. Unless you already thought they were...sharp, that is...then it should be sharper than I might think. Which really is most likely the case...I mean, who doesn't know a box cutter is sharp....?
Oh yeah, I've had mix-ups with the bridesmaids' dresses, concerns of the church canceling, delays on the invitations. And all the while I keep asking God, why? why is this all happening now? and why can't Dean be here for me to talk to? if only Dean were here. And do you know what God said to me? God said, "Because apparently I needed to remind you that I am here. You seem to have forgotten."
Have you ever noticed that? How often do you sit and pray that God will be with you throughout your day? That He will carve your path and protect you as you walk it? God reminded me that it's okay for us to pray for ourselves. I don't, generally, because I start to feel selfish. Perhaps it is different for you. Perhaps you read this and are astonished that I would point out something so basic. Doesn't she know that by now? And perhaps you're right, perhaps I should.
Well what an important lesson for me to relearn, then: God cares. Talk to Him about it.
technorati tags: prayer + selfishness